The In-Between

I had two great college loves. Every time someone asks me about how many boyfriends I had before my boyfriend now, I would always say three. The First One. The One-Who-Could-Have-Been-Mr-Pagdanganan. Followed by the Big Mistake, in medical school. But only a handful know about the In-Between. It only lasted for a few months, compared to the other three which lasted for years. But in retrospect, I must admit that his sudden role in my life was the first turning point. If not for him, I may have gone to very different road. Or something.

We'll call him... hmmm... the In-Between.

I met him first in my Comm 3 class. I must stress that this was the time of post-it on doors and pagers. Having a cellphone was a luxury. I did not notice him at first but I think he noticed me already.  I was then on my second year, in a BS course, and him, a third year, in a BA course. What the hell. I was in Community Nutrition and he was in Public Administration. 

Then I met him again in the Lectors and Commentators Guild in the Parish of the Holy Sacrifice. We both wanted to be lectors and commentators. I did not recognize him at first, but I recognized his friend, who was also our classmate in Comm 3. 

On our next Comm 3 class, we were asked to sit with our partners for our dyadic communications exercise, but as he was absent in the last meeting, he had no partner yet, and when our professor checked, we were an odd class, he has to share someone else's partner. 

After that period, he approached me and said he saw me in the LCG meeting, that was when I remembered him. He asked me if he could interview me for the dyadic exercise. I said yes. He asked for my landline and pager number. I was about to leave the room when he asked me where I lived. I told him my address in UP Village. Then left as I was about to meet The First One then. Yes, I was still with The First One.

What surprised me was that same night, I was watching TV, it was between 6 and 7 in the evening when one of my housemates said that there was a girl and a boy looking for me outside. Lo and behold,  it was him, with his friend from Comm 3. He said he wanted to ask me more about the dyadic exercise and I told him he didn't have to come to my house, a page or a call would have been enough. We talked about the exercise for a while and said he would just call me when he needs to ask stuff. That was no problem, I said.

The next meeting, he sat beside me class. Actually, I didn't know where he sat before but starting that day, he sat down beside me every time. He would talk to me about many things. I found out that he wanted to be a lawyer, possibly get into politics and is a member of one of the law-based fraternities in UP. I told him just enough -- what course I was in, that I wanted to be a doctor and that's about it. All other conversations were about the upcoming dyadic exercise.

Until there was a discussion in class which made me say, "hahahaha! My boyfriend would like that!"

He looked at me and asked, "You have a boyfriend?"

"Yup! For more than a year, why?" And I continued laughing with the class.

After that, he didn't talk to me as much as before. He wasn't chatty anymore. But he kept on sitting beside me, sometimes. Then my boyfriend's schedule started to clear up and there were times that he would fetch me from my Comm 3 class to walk with me to my next class. And the In-Between would see him.

Until one day, my boyfriend didn't show up. The In-Between asked me why I was leaving alone and where my boyfriend was. 

"You mean, ex-boyfriend. We broke up last night." I said and left the room.

And that night, I must admit, I was only semi-surprised to see him outside our house's gate, with flowers.

I was introduced to the In-Between's circle of friends, his frat, his sisters. It felt really uncomfortable. They led a life that I wasn't comfortable with. Not that they're bad people, they just belonged to a different crowd.

He started moving into my circles too. He would offer to walk me to classes, the way my ex used to. Until one day, he said he'll just walk me up to FC Walk and he'll have to go some place else. It weirded me out but I said it was no problem. A lot later that night, one of my housemates came home from a study group of sorts, and asked me where he was. I said, I don't know. And she told me that his frat got into a rumble with another law-based fraternity and that one in their frat brods died (a clue on when all of these happened). I realized that I haven't heard from him since that afternoon, when he said he had to go some place else. No call. No page. I got really worried. 

That part of AS (Palma Hall) that used to house his frat's tambayan.

His landline rang. It rang for a long time. Until someone picked up. To my relief, it was him. He was alive. And unhurt. Then we realized that I called him. I never call him. Until that night -- or very early morning. That was when I knew that he already has a special place in my heart.

"You were worried?" He asked.

"No." I answered.

"You were worried." And I sensed him smile form the other line. 

Also, this was the second semester, the In-Between had political plans, he ran for office in his college. He dragged me along the campaigns and meetings so often that his friends would call me the "Future First Lady of Public Administration." Well, he didn't win that race.

It was a very sweet start of what could've been a great relationship. But it didn't end that way. I wasn't very comfortable with his crowd and he found mine boring. Our lives outside Comm 3 class started to affect our budding love story. And after Comm 3, things started getting in the way.

We stayed together that summer. It was fun, I celebrated my 18th birthday, he was there. But when the first semester kicked in, we grew apart more. Until there was nothing there anymore. 

Our interests kept on colliding and if we keep on trying to fit in each others' lives, it may change us the way we don't want to be changed. And him, being the older, mature one, decided to end things at that. I had no objections.

After the dust settled, we eventually became friends. Just friends. During his freshman year in his Masters program, he ran for a seat in the University Student Council and won. He even became my date to a nephew's baptism a few years later. Last time we were together was when we had coffee in Katipunan. He was already working on his law degree in Ateneo then. 

That was him, my In-Between. The man that paved way for me to leave behind all the mush and idealism of my First One to give way for me to meet the Man-Who-Could've-Been-Mr-Pagdanganan. 

But that is another story.